Jokes apart

Slumdog, "Jai Ho!!"

2009-03-16T11:32:26+01:00

Winning Oscar awards for the film “Slumdog millionaire” has created a lot of excitement and discussion in the Indian media. One worthy politician has trashed the film makers for so poorly portraying India and the Indians that he feared it would adversely affect the tourism industry in the coming years! On the other hand there are some who feel that the film would promote tourism - just as the “Dhobi ghats” of Mahalaxmi in Mumbai is a “must see” tourist spot - many foreign tourists would want to visit the Dharavi slums for first hand experience of the human excrement and filth as seen in the film! Some feel that the tourist rush to these slums would become so great that smart entrepreneurs would soon set up artificial slums in many cities as tourist attractions! All the states would be on competition mode to set up slums by offering attractive incentives to set up slums for the tourists! To spend a day in the slum would become an integral part of the tourist itinerary! Come to think of it, a high official of the British Government recently spent a night in a thatched cow shed in Sultanpur in UP, literally sleeping with a cow! Since he had for company a high profile young and upcoming Congress leader sharing the cow shed, one wonders, weather the thatched cow shed was after all, air conditioned for the comfort of the high profile occupants! The authorities must have made it sure (by washing out the cow’s stomach and starving it) that during the short time the dignitaries shared the thatched shed with the lucky cow; it did not drop massive quantities of dung and offend them!

Recently, I met a middle aged French couple in the Rajdhani Express, while I was traveling from Bangalore to Delhi. This couple had visited many places in India during the past one month and was on their way back to Delhi to catch a flight to Paris at midnight the next day. They had somehow got confused about the arrival time in Delhi and took the train because they thought that it would reach Delhi the next evening by 5 PM well before the departure of their plane at midnight. When I told them that the train would be reaching Delhi only the day after, at 5 AM, they were shocked because they would then miss their flight to Paris. However, I suggested to him that, they could get down at Secunderabad in the morning next day and catch a flight to Delhi so that they did not have to miss the flight to Paris. He did as I suggested and I hope he reached Paris without further hassles! The confusion arose because people told him that Rajdhani Express was a prestigious fast train with limited number of stops and he mentally calculated the time to cover a distance of about 2400KM to be not more than 24 hours at the most! Trains in France should not take more than 10 to 12 hours to cover this distance!

The Frenchman told me that he lived in Marseilles and that he was a professor in the University. His wife had a fascination for India from her childhood and she believed that she was a Hindu in her past life and had lived in India! She had always wanted to visit the holy places of India and they decided to come on a tour after long planning. They visited many places including Kashi, Allahabad, Rishikesh, Hardwar, Puttaparathi, Pondicherry, Kochi etc. He talked about their most horrible experience in Kashi of seeing half burnt human bodies floating in the holy river Ganga, the head turning with the waves this way and that way as though the bodies still had life in them! After that experience his wife was not very sure that she was an Indian Hindu in her past life!

Some months ago I hired a taxi in Delhi to go to Mathura and Vrindavan. My friends in Delhi had warned my wife about the unruly behavior of the “Pandas” or the guides in Vrindavan. I had told the driver that I was not interested to engage any guide or Panda to show me around, and that he should take me to the temples in both the places. As we turned from the highway, a few kilometers from Vrindavan shrine the Pandas tried to stop the car. The driver told us that he would not enter into any argument with the Pandas because he feared that he and his vehicle would be harmed if he supported us. These rough and fierce looking goons were very intimidating and threatening and we had great difficulty in shaking them off. They become very querulous and dangerous when they find that the outsider would not budge. It is the same experience in Pushkar in Rajasthan, Kashi in UP, or Rameswarom in Tamil Nadu. I wonder what impressions our esteemed foreign tourist would take home after such experiences. I suppose one should not see a foreignhand in all that is going wrong in our dear India!!

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My Right to work, My Right to live

2008-09-27T18:19:51+02:00

The Communists are fed up with agitations and unruly behaviour of not only the opposition parties in the two Communist ruled states in the country, West Bengal and Kerala but also their own cadres in some cases. The beleaguered Chief Minister of Bengal is doing his best to appease the feisty leader of the opposition so that the Tata car project does not shift out from his state. The whole country is looking forward with interest to see the outcome of the dealings and wheeling! The Chief Minister admits that he is so helpless when his own party members attack him for his policies which are against the Party ideology that he keeps mum!! Mum indeed!!

In Kerala, a top Communist leader who is also a member of the Central Politburo recently lashed out at the members of one of their unions who regularly harass ordinary people and industry by demanding their right to load/unload materials from trucks trains etc and charge excessive rates for the work done or not done. What is objected to by the leader is the demand for asking for wages for work not done! The Malayalam term used for this is “Nokku kuly”, which may be roughly translated as “wages for watching”. If you need the services of a porter you will not find one easily, because most of the unionist comrades would be hiding. Just invisible! But remember, they are watching! The moment you somehow manage to load/unload your things with the help of friends, relatives etc, union leaders would materialise from thin air and demand money for the work someone has done which deprived them of their rights to do the work, for which they are entitled to!! They can be very argumentative!!

Recently a friend visited Alapuzha in Kerala on some business matter and he narrated a

Bizarre experience encountered there. He did not carry any baggage because he was not planning an overnight stay there and he travelled by bus from Kochi to Alapuzha a distance of 80 KM or so. As soon as the bus reached Alapuzha and the man got down from the bus, some porters surrounded him and asked him to hand over the luggage. The man did not even carry a brief case and therefore he escaped lightly. Later his client in Alapuzha told him that he was fortunate that he got off lightly because at times a weary traveller would have to face a volley of questions from the gang. They could ask questions like “Why have you come without baggage?”, “How long is your stay in the city without baggage?” etc. If you are lucky, after answering these few questions you may be freed to proceed. But if they suspected that you were hiding a small bag inside your shirt or banyan or underwear, there is a possibility that you would be asked to “show”! Show indeed!! And, if you got down from the bus with a small bag and thought that you could walk away swinging handbag, you are probably in for a surprise. The gang would surround you and ask you a few more questions such as “What do you think we are standing here for?” “If you people carry your own things, how do you think we are going to feed our families?” etc. If you insist that you do not want to hire the services of a porter to carry the bag, they would say, “OK, but you pay the porter charges all the same, because our livelihood depends on income from carrying luggage, and you can not deprive us of our rights”. That is it! That is what the spread of Communism has done to Kerala. Everyone is conscious of his RIGHTS. It is a moot point that others have rights too!!

In Kolkatta the labour are similarly highly conscious of their rights. In a factory, when the production was disrupted due to power cuts the gardener in the compound who was mowing the lawn simply dropped his tools down to celebrate the power cut!! Communism gives you freedom to celebrate and enjoy at others cost! That is Communism for you.

Communists talk of proletariat, the rights and romance of the proletariat but you would find hardly any of their leaders belonging to the proletariat! They all came from aristocracies! And most of them live like aristocrats, all the time belittling the aristocracy. From Karl Marx to Stalin and Lenin to Yeltsin and Milosivic who did not want luxuries of life? They all had their luxuries but could not stand anyone outside their beliefs to live in luxury!

For the Communists there is no God. Religion is the opium for poor ignorant masses. But, in politics Indian Communists are selective in attacking religions. Like the Congress, Communists bend backwards to please the Muslims. They attack the Hindu outfits to please the Muslim League. Some of the Communist historians go to any length to show the Hindus in bad light. One historian has even found that Somnath temple was never a Shiva Temple. The idols in the Somnath temple were originally of some Pagan Gods of the Arabs which the Muslim invaders destroyed!! Why should the Hindus sweat for that? WOW!!

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Hey! You! Grease my palm!!

2007-10-16T17:03:24+02:00

The Times of India has initiated a novel concept called “Lead India” for selecting (or electing?) leaders for the country based on merit and proved achievements. The idea is laudable and the rationale behind it is noble and interesting. A few days ago Jug Suraya wrote some interesting thoughts on this topic in TOI. He says our problem is hardly lack of leaders in sufficient numbers! We have plenty of them but who will follow the leader. That is the crux of the matter. Each of us thinks of ourselves as leaders, and we are prepared to lead but who is to follow?

The problem is that we are averse to follow any rule. Each individual has his own set of rules to follow. We all agree that corruption is the most wide spread disease that is affecting the progress of our country. We have corruption in all walks of life. We condemn corruption in the morning and indulge in it for the rest of the day, either giving or taking bribes! We have a set of rules for others and another for ourselves!

Our lawmakers have enacted “Right to information bill”. One should think that it is a mockery of public intelligence! Why should a bill be enacted to give the public the right to information? Is it not an admission of the secrecy with which the officials conduct the business of the Government? If the activities of the Government are transparent as it should be, where is the need for the Right to information bill? Even after enacting the law the Government and the officials are doing their best to circumvent it by hook or by crook!

Experts have categorised corruption under two general heads: (a) Collusive corruption and (b) Coercive corruption.
Collusive corruption is one in which both the giver and the taker of the bribes or commissions (for example collusion between a contractor and a govt official) stand to gain and the loser is the exchequer. The corruption is not immediately seen or felt by the common man. Generally the common man is indifferent to this kind of corruption.
Coercive corruption is different. The common man is subjected to this kind of corruption in his daily life. The root of the problem lies in the rules that curtail the freedom of the individual. The hundreds and thousands of rules and regulations that control each and every activity of the Government is the cause for this corruption. The rules are made for the ostensible reason of fair conduct of the Government officials and for the benefit of the ordinary citizen. But these rules have become the cause for corruption.
The common citizen’s ignorance of the innumerable rules that come in the way of his freedom to do anything as he or she wishes combined with his propensity to avoid as many rules as possible, makes it a fertile ground for the law enforcer to demand and take bribes!
Many experts in the field of Government administration have been repeatedly advocating scrapping laws, which are irrelevant and retrograde. But who is to act?

Many find it profitable not to follow rules, because enforcing rules is not an easy task, either for government or for social organisations. For example, in our multi-storied apartment building one of the apartment owners stopped paying maintenance charges to the informal Association of the members. For close to eight years he did not pay and the Association could not do anything to recover the dues, except threatening to stop water supply etc and he would say that the Association has no legal rights to cut off his water supply and that he would get a stay order from the court! The law he would say was on his side! Seeing that this man was getting away with his threats at least six others started defaulting in paying the dues and the maintenance of the building suffered. As suggested by a lawyer we got our Association registered under the Society of Firms and sent legal notices to the defaulters and also got a caveat against any stay order from court against stoppage of water and other services. The defaulters soon came round for settlement with the Association, sensing that a prolonged legal battle would not benefit them. Since the Association was a registered body we were obliged to hold Annual General Body Meeting and submit a copy of the minutes to the Registrar of Societies, along with audited copy of financial statement and audit report. When our representative went to the Registrars office to submit the returns, the junior officer talked to him rudely and told him to come another day. On next visit he would point out some mistake and on the next visit he would ask something else. He would be making several visits without any result. And one day he would openly demand for money in order to accept our returns! For the last two years we resisted paying any bribe money and the officers changed the tactics. They said that the Association should give an affidavit. But an affidavit saying what? The officer would not say. All he said was that you ask the dealer (that is one of the touts walking the premises of the office) and soon it became evident that we must pay the bribe! It cost the Association nearly Rs.5000/- to make the officer accept our returns! That is coercive corruption. Who has the time to fight this petty official who probably is in league with others!
Coercive corruption also is well organised. Our complaints fall on deaf ears and one ends up paying bribes. The only way to reduce corruption is to reduce the procedures and rules to the minimum. For example, when you purchase a new apartment you would want the Electric bills to be made in your name. A simple request is not enough for this. You must go to a tout or agent named by the official, and pay a sum of money to get the work done! You buy a property but you cannot pay the taxes unless you pay a bribe! The official will find a hundred reasons for not accepting the payment!
Traffic in our city is chaotic. You see traffic policemen in groups of three or four in junctions making out receipts for the fines or collecting bribes for not booking for the offences committed by the citizens. If these traffic policemen take the trouble of enforcing the traffic rules by directing the traffic there would be no traffic offence committed. But they are busy collecting bribes! One day a couple of friends travelling in a car stopped at the signals waiting for the green light and he was on the front row, waiting. He saw a traffic policeman standing a little distance away scribbling furiously in his little book and his friend told him jokingly that he was sure the policeman was writing down his number. Sure as his friend said the policeman was writing down his car number, and a few days later he got a letter from the police department asking him to pay a fine of Rs.300/- for rash driving! I am sure the policeman could not have been able to write down the car registration number if he was driving rashly as stated in the letter. Obviously the policeman was only making up his quota of fines and he chose the easiest way and jotted down the number of a stationary car! That is the way they work and we are helpless in changing the system.
So ultimately it is not the quality of the leaders that matter but that of the followers!!

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East is east and the West is west !!

2007-08-31T11:35:16+02:00

An NRI Indian wife who lived in the USA for many years was shocked to see that in India people are wasting so much water for washing kitchen utensils dishes etc. In America the dishwashers do the job using much less water. What a waste of water she crowed! Just think of the amount of water that could be saved if all the households used dishwashers! Probably there would never be any shortage of water even if the monsoons failed. What a thoughtless nation! I thought, add to this the wastage of water from washing clothes the old way! Washing machines certainly saves water! Think of the water that the Indians would save if they chose to use the toilet paper instead of washing the body parts! Till not long ago, in the west (particularly UK) same bathwater was used over and over by a number of people, which saved a lot of water and heat too!

But all these practices are unthinkable for the Indian. For the Indian, the food and cooking methods are such that dishwashers are of no use. Most Indian housewives take pride in the superb shine of their utensils. Lot of scrubbing and water goes in to the process. Washing machines are catching up in urban areas where housemaids are difficult to come by or too expensive! Most Indians soak their clothes in soap water, beat them thoroughly, squeeze, rinse, squeeze and starch before drying the clothes in sunlight. But with the usage of synthetic fabrics the process has undergone some change.

Toilet paper? No. One may wipe and wipe till the skin peels off but without washing, that yucky feeling will never go away. No amount of wiping will do any good! And think of the yellow-brown stains on under wares and sheets!! Some one should calculate the number of trees that would be saved if the wipers the world over stopped using toilet paper. Probably thousands of hectares of forests would be saved! But who cares. The wipers feel yucky to even think where all the hand of the washer goes for the washing job! Not to worry, a hand is reserved for that purpose!!

Bath is a ritual for the Indian. For most Keralites it is a twice-daily ritual. Bath in a temple pond is considered a purifying procedure though the water in the pond may look yucky and green! But no reusing of bathwater over and over in a bathtub! The green colour of water in the pond is due to the reflection of the greenery of the surroundings, water plants, algae etc. The water plants algae etc are useful for keeping the water clean as also fish and other water animals, which live in, and around the ponds.

Before modernity caught up with Malayalees, oil massage on body and head every morning was common practice for both men and women. Women and men would scrub their bodies with a special scrubber called “eenja” made from the fibres of the bark of a plant and the women would wash their hair with a home made shampoo called “thali” prepared from a mixture of some plant leaves. The sight of a young woman coming out of the bath exuding exotic fragrance and clad in nothing but wet towel called "Thorthu mundu" has fired the imagination of many a poet and writer!! These practices have now given way to more convenient and simple shower bath.

The boom in land prices has encouraged many Indians to dispose off their family land holdings and invest in more profitable ventures and also acquire modern luxuries of life. A friend belonging to North India was telling me how his grand father would not allow a piece of land in his village, measuring about an acre or so, to be sold because he wanted the plot to be retained for his morning ablutions!! He was used to defecating in the open fields all his life and did not want to change this practice in his old age. He feared he would die a painful death due to constipation!! The caress of cool morning breeze on the bottom is too precious an experience to be given up for the mordern Potty!

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Pastimes of a retired man.

2006-03-04T17:14:01+01:00

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There is no slight pregnancy!!......

2006-02-17T16:27:41+01:00

There is no thing like "slight pregnancy". Was it Confucius who said that? !! So is corruption, either one is corrupt or not corrupt but never slightly corrupt!:XX" class="middle" border="0">
Recently the Municipal authorities in Bangalore went on a rampage, demolishing buildings, which had flouted norms laid down by the authorities. Soon there were protests against the demolitions because these were the houses of the very people who had in the first place made complaints about the illegal constructions in the localities! In the beginning there was mass support to these good intentioned Samaritans, but when many unsuspecting people lost their dwellings they realised that all is not well and going in the right direction. Though the complaint was against commercial houses being set up in the residential localities, the authorities went on demolishing buildings for all other kinds of violations of construction laws. The complainants became nervous and ran from pillar to post to save their houses. It seemed that the government was saying, “You sowed the seeds, now you can have the harvest!”
That is the problem. Most of us are unaware that we could be sent to jail if we make any complaint against the “Authorities” – that is the Government Establishment. One should know that the Government is none other than “we ourselves” and if one goes on complaining against oneself the consequences could be very dangerous. Now the people in Koramangala in Bangalore have learned their lesson the hard way.
Most people do not want to give bribes, lest they should get caught in some complicated web. So the difficult jobs are entrusted to experts who know how to get things done. One should not ask difficult questions to the expert, because his job is to get difficult jobs done by difficult people sitting in difficult positions. You just pay the fees, which the expert tells you, and forget the details. Don’t ever try to think that you have a right to know anything more than that. If you do, you could face the same situation that the Koramangala residents faced!
This can happen in any Indian city because buildings have been built without proper clearances from the authorities after bribing the officials. These officials can strike back any time they choose to because they have the power to do so.
Some one said that the best way to get rid of corruption is to legalise corruption! When you legalise corruption there will be competition among a number of officials to do your job and the price for doing your job will steadily fall! Allow the competition to grow and it will find its own level in the market place!! A good capitalistic idea!!
But who wants to get rid of corruption?

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It is a case of the fence eating the plants..!!!!!

2006-01-24T17:40:13+01:00

We had a problem in our street. The street in front of our Apartment building is very narrow and if cars are parked on one side of the street, the movement of cars up and down the street becomes very difficult. Very rarely you get the chance to drive down the small distance of two hundred meters without stopping in gaps and allowing the traffic from the opposite side to pass by! But one fine morning we found that cars were parked on both sides of the street! This was the result of the government’s sudden decision to stop paid parking on roads of Bangalore. It was merry hell. Till then the attendant who collected the parking charges used to regulate the parking of vehicles on the streets, and he was able enforce a certain discipline. But now he has gone and cars were parked on both sides of the street making it almost impossible to negotiate the length of two hundred meters outside our Apartment building. This state of affairs continued for many days and we were witness to several fisticuffs in front of our building every day. When the problem became really out of control few of us living in the Apartment approached the traffic dept and gave a written complaint and explained our woes to the head of the dept, who promised to look into the matter. Within less than a week a traffic policeman visited our building and talked to the building management. He said he could arrange to fix “No parking” signs on one side of the road and put on duty one constable to enforce the rules. The problem he said was that there is a great demand for these “No parking” sign-boards and probably he might be able to fix one near our building after 12 to 18 months. But, there is a way if there is a will, he said! We could buy these sign boards from the supplier directly for a nominal price of Rs.1200/- each which he could supply within 24 hours, and the policeman would go out of the way and arrange to fix them near our building to stop the menace of wrong parking on our street. He suggested that we pay for 4 sign- boards so that the traffic regulation would become very strict and effective. The building Management sat together and deliberated on the subject exhaustively and came to the conclusion that we must pay for at least two sign boards to stop the traffic menace. Within 24 hours of paying the asked amount of Rs.2400/- for two boards, the policeman was seen busying himself with fixing two boards on either side of our gate, about 100 ft. apart and for the first time after several weeks the residents of our building experienced some relief from the chaotic parking of cars outside our building! But good things do not last for long, it is said. Our happiness almost came to an end after about 3 months of ecstasy!! One cold night a traffic van fitted with towing crane etc, stopped by the side of our building, three hefty policemen got down armed with pick-axe and crowbars and started digging around one of the signposts and within minutes the it was removed and put into the van. Few good Samaritans living in our building protested, but the policemen were determined and brushed aside all objections, saying that only one sign post was necessary near our building, and their boss has ordered to remove the second one to be put elsewhere. The good Samaritans could not tell them that these posts were paid for. If they did they could have been arrested and put behind the bars for corrupting the police force! One of the good Samaritans murmured “This is the case of the fence eating the plants in the garden”!!

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Conversation

2005-07-02T12:00:21+02:00

Conversation
Conversation is an art, it is said. Like any performing art, the performer has the capacity to hold the audience spellbound. In the case of conversation however there is no performer or audience. Two people or a whole group of a number of persons participate in the conversation and there is no demarcation such as the performer and audience. All are participants when the subject of discussion is of interest. Some may take leading roles while others just add on a few points or sometimes express agreement or disagreement with the views being expressed. It often happens that one of the participants emerges, as a performer and the rest become the audience. Unless the subject under discussion is something interesting to all in the group, and the narrator does it in a very interesting manner the discussion will not last for long. In many cases one emerges as a performer because he/she wants to hold the attention of the audience - like a leader of a political party. It is the need of a person to hold the attention of the others, rather than the group’s interest in the subject under discussion that that produces performers. The need for attention is caused by one’s love for leadership or simply vanity and is inherent in many people. Politicians are most prone to becoming performers in “Conversation”. The common man does not want to be identified as a politician because by popular definition the politician is a scoundrel. So it is rare that a common (average) man emerges as a performer in “Conversation”. He has no interest to monopolise the conversation but he is one with good skills in conversation to hold the attention of the entire group. A good conversationalist is not one who monopolises the conversation. But in certain circumstances he becomes the sole speaker. In the case of the politician it is not the circumstance but his need to be noticed and heard that makes him the sole speaker. Usually he would have perfected several methods by which he could silence the others. But if his methods fail he would become mildly aggressive and assertive to hold the audience. Many politicians are known to have resorted to violence when interrupted in their speeches, because the politicians believe (truly believe) that it is a kind of right, which no one can question, a kind of democratic right to bore others. If there are more than one politician in the group one cannot predict the outcome!
There is another type of people who want to forcibly hold the audience captive. They are the vain types doing it for the sole purpose of self glorification, trying to publicise their achievements and exploits, imagined or otherwise. They do not become aggressive but plead with the others to listen to them. If one is so unfortunate as to be a lone listener, he may become sleepy and inattentive but that does not deter the speaker from continuing the speech. He would laugh loudly and make loud noises to wake the listener up, and then offer to repeat any portion that the listener might have missed! There was this man who disentangled himself from such a “Bore” by telling him that he should be excused immediately for he could not hold it any longer and another minute of delay would dirty his clothes, and ran to the wash room! The freedom was short lived for when he came out there he was saying “ Where was I when you ran to the wash room?”
Conversation is also a form of communication. Another, more dynamic form of communication is Gossip. It is a pastime for a lot of people but who would admit that he/she is a Gossip? What other activity is more entertaining than Gossiping? It could be useful to listen to Gossips because it helps you to gather and understand the world around you. It helps you to gather useful information. With tact and cunning one can indulge in Gossips not only to gather valuable information but also to disseminate information in an informal way. The grapevine is a powerful tool to gather and disseminate classified information. Through this medium people can be warned of impending disasters and to advise people to follow the right path. One can intimidate or encourage.
The danger is that sometimes the contents of the information gets get all twisted in the process of carrying by mouth. There is this story of one man having vomited a crow! People ran miles to see the man who vomited a crow. And when they could not see the crow they questioned the man who last said that a man vomited a crow. He said that “X” told him so. When questioned, “X” said that “Y” told him that a man vomited some thing that was as black as a crow, and this chain of questioning went on till finally they came to the truth, which was that a black man vomited after drinking heavily in the pub!
So, one has to be very careful while giving or receiving “word of mouth” information.

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The policeman laughed !

2005-06-22T10:28:08+02:00

Jokesapart

Recently, I was nostalgically remembering about my student days in College in Trivandrum. That is almost 50 years ago, when life was a dream, a song, a poetry. Those were also the days when students agitations were very frequent and in 1956-57 (I think) the students agitated almost for a full year for causes I am unable to remember clearly now. There was this agitation for not shifting the High Court from Trivandrum to Cochin – Or was it an agitation to retain one High Court Bench in Trivandrum? I cannot remember. Any way it was agitation time and for students to stay away from classes which suited most of us who were in the grip of juvenile romanticism. Communism was so romantic one day and it was so heroic to oppose Communism after some days of supporting the Communist causes. The student community was so full of energy that any small cause could whip up enormous passions and unleash havoc. Political parties of course made full use of the opportunities regardless of what happened to the future of the youngsters. Those days there was only one Engineering Degree College and one Medical College in whole of Kerala and it was a Herculean task to obtain admission for Engineering or Medical courses in Kerala. The effect of student agitations in our most crucial year for admissions to the Engineering or Medical Colleges in Trivandrum was that, not one student from our college got admission to the Engineering college and only one student got admission to the Medical Co;;ege, despite our college being one of the elite colleges in the State!!.

This is just the background! On one day of violence (which was frequent) the police entered our college and ordered caning the rioting students and then caught a few boys at random and took them to the police station for questioning. The boys were made to stand in a line against the station wall and one constable started writing down the names and addresses of the boys. When asked for his name one of the boys said “Sardar Vallabhai Patel”. The constable got very angry but controlled his anger because if he as much as touched the boy, or even shouted at him, the others would have raised hell shouting slogans against the high handedness of the police force! So the policeman quietly asked him again to tell his real name and not to act funny. In fact he said, “Brother, these are trying times and not the time for jokes. So tell me your real name and not waste my time” The boy asserted that his name was indeed Sardar Vallabhai Patel. Though the policeman was furious he had to control himself and grind his teeth. Then he approached another boy standing a little distance away and asked the name of the boy in question. He readily said that his name was Sardar Vallabhai Patel. The policeman consulted few more boys who confirmed that his name was indeed Sardar Vallabahi Patel. With a smile on his face the policeman went to the inspector’s table and told them about the boy’s name and suddenly loud laughter broke out from the policemen in the station. This followed even louder slogan shouting from the students. At last calm was restored only after some one explained the lighter side of the whole incident and it became a joke to be told again and again.

Recently, not really, about ten years ago, I was talking to an employee of a bank in Mumbai, regarding some matters and I had to meet him again the next day. So I asked his name and he replied “Jawaharlal Nehru”. I was taken aback and his colleague sitting at the table next to him, must have noticed my bewilderment and said, “ Yes, it’s true. His name is Jawaharlal Nehru. His sister’s name is Indira Gandhi and his brother’s name is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.” Jawaharlal also nodded and said that what his colleague said was true.

So there it is. God help those with names such as Bin Laden or Sadam!!!

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